Accounting Jokes

Favorite Bookkeeping, Finance & Money Funnies

This is the accounting jokes page, full of my favorite bookkeeping funnies. I've heard and read some great accounting jokes throughout the years. I never really feel like I fit the stereotypes, but who knows! Some of these definitely ring true for me and give me a good and needed chuckle from time to time.

Accounting JokesAccounting Jokes

I hope that you will enjoy these accounting funnies and bookkeeping jokes as well. Sometimes we just need a little laughter to relieve the stress and brighten our day!

There is also a form at the bottom of the page where you can submit your own bookkeeping and accounting jokes for the rest of us to enjoy. Your contributions are appreciated.

Accounting Jokes - Q & A

Accountant Jokes

What's the definition of an accountant?

Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.


What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?

Depreciation.


What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?

Go into town and gang-audit someone.


What's the definition of a good tax accountant?

Someone who has a loophole named after him.


What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

The accountant knows he is boring.


Why did the blonde accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for three hours?

Because on the box it said Concentrate.


What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?

Lost.


When do accountants laugh out loud?

When somebody asks for a raise.


Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays?

They can wear casual clothes to work.


How does an accountant make a bold fashion statement?

He wears his grey suit instead of the blue.


If an accountant's husband can't get to sleep, what does he say?

Tell me about work today, dear. (My personal favorite!)


Bookkeeping Funnies

Accounting Jokes3

My accountant told me that the only reason why my business is looking up is that it's flat on it's back.

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"I'm David and I'm a bean-counter." -...
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A fool and his money are soon audited.
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"Rumor has it, Minton, that you're af...
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A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."
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"I may be too proud to beg, but I'm n...
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An accountant is talking to the young child of one of his friends and says, "Do you know what I do?' "Daddy says you're a CPA." "That's right. Did he tell you what CPA stands for?" "Well, he says you're a Complete Pain in the Arse."
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"Nancy is your type. Goo...
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Accounting Jokes Bean Counter

Bookkeeping Memes

The Bookkeeping Memes page is full of the best accounting and income tax funnies I have come across online.  

These will likely be appreciated the most by all the bookkeepers, accountants and income tax preparation experts out there than any other profession.

However, they should be funny and enjoyable for all.

See The Funny Accounting And Bookkeeping Memes Here


Have A Great Bookkeeping, Accounting, or Business Joke to Share?

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The Jokes Submitted by Other Visitors

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Professional Descriptions

Professional Descriptions Bookkeeping Joke 
What does your profession say about you? 1. MARKETING - You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, …

Resume Bloopers

Resume Bloopers Bookkeeping Joke 
Here are some resume bloopers taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine: 1. I demand a salary commiserate with …

Frauditor

Frauditor Bookkeeping Joke 
These groups of accountants were embezzling funds from their company and cooking the books. So this new Financial Controller comes and started to suspect …

Types Of Accountants

3 Types Of Accountants Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
There are three types of accountants.. Those who can count and those who can't.

Homeless Accountant

Homeless Accountant Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
Q: Where do homeless accountants live? A: In a tax shelter.

Cannibal CPA

Cannibal CPA Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
Q: Did you hear about the cannibal CPA? A: She charges and arm and a leg.

Accountant Boarding Train

Accountant Boarding Train Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
Q: What does an accountant say when boarding a train? A: Mind the GAAP.

Who Loves Work?

Who Loves Work Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
Q: What is the difference between my job and a deceased hooker? A: My job still sucks..

Why did the Auditor cross the road?

Auditor Crossing The Road Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
*that's an English joke - but not my actual joke, which is: "Why did the auditor cross the road? Cos he did it last year..." (& just in case...there …

Politicians

Politicians Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
While walking down the street one day a U.S. senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the …

Skydiving Accountants

Skydiving Accountants Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
Q: What do you call 12 accountants skydiving?? A: SKEET!

12 Accountants

12 Accountants Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
Q: What do you call 12 accountants at the bottom of the ocean? A: A good start!

Socializing Accountant

Socializing Accountant Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
Q: What do you call an accountant talking to someone in a social setting? A: Popular

Extroverted Accountant

Extroverted Accountant Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
Q: How can you tell an extroverted Accountant? A: When talking with you he looks at YOUR shoes instead of HIS shoes!

The Secret

The Secret Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
I worked for an accountant for some time when I noticed that sometimes when he was working on a spreadsheet he would sigh deeply, then open his top drawer …

Accountants Copper Wire

Accountants Copper Wire Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
Q: Did you know that accountants invented copper wire? A: Two of them were fighting over a penny.

Accountants and Light Bulbs

Accountants And Light Bulbs Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
Q: How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: How much money do you have?

Accountants vs Vampires

Accountants vs Vampires Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a vampire? A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Accountants Deep Down

Accountants Deep Down Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
Q: Why are they putting the accountants at the bottom of the ocean? A: They found out that deep down they're really not so bad.

IRS Audit Red Flag

IRS Audit Red Flag Jay Leno Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in …

Accountant Pay Raise

Accountant Pay Raise Bookkeeping Joke Not rated yet
What does an accountant tell his co-worker when he asked for a raise in pay? Kiss my @$$

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