Accounting Jokes, All My favorites

What's the definition of an accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.

What's the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him.

What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he is boring.

Why did the accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for three hours? Because on the box it said Concentrate.

Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays? They can wear casual clothes to work.

How does an accountant make a bold fashion statement? He wears his grey suit instead of the blue.

If an accountant's wife can't get to sleep, what does she say? "Tell me about work today, dear."

An accountant is talking to the young child of one of his friends and says, "Do you know what I do?' "Daddy says you're a CPA." "That's right. Did he tell you what CPA stands for?" "Well, he says you're a Complete Pain in the Arse."

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The Jokes Submitted by Other Visitors

Resume Bloopers
Here are some resume bloopers taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:

1. I demand a salary commiserate with ...

Professional Descriptions
What does your profession say about you?

1. MARKETING - You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college,...

Frauditor
These groups of accountants were embezzling funds from their company and cooking the books. So this new Financial Controller comes and started to suspect ...

Politicians Not rated yet
While walking down the street one day a U.S. senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance....

What do you call 12 accountants skydiving? Not rated yet
What do you call 12 accountants skydiving ??

SKEET!

What do you call 12 accountants? Not rated yet
What do you call 12 accountants at the bottom of the ocean ?

A GOOD START !

Socialising Not rated yet
What do you call an accountant talking to someone?

Popular

How Can You Tell An Extroverted Accountant? Not rated yet
When talking with you he looks at YOUR shoes instead of his shoes!

The Secret Not rated yet
I worked for an accountant for some time when I noticed that sometimes when he was working on a spreadsheet he would sigh deeply, then open his top drawer ...

Tom Not rated yet
Did you know that accountants invented copper wire?

Two of them were fighting over a penny.

Accountants and Light Bulbs Not rated yet
Q: How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?

A: How much money do you have?

Accountants vs Vampires Not rated yet
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a vampire?

A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Accountants Deep Down Not rated yet
Q: Why are they putting the accountants at the bottom of the ocean?

A: They found out that deep down they're really not so bad.

IRS Audit Red Flag Not rated yet
"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your ...

Kiss My ... Not rated yet
What does an accountant tell his co-worker when he askes for a raise?

Kiss my @$$