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Accounting Jokes,

My All Time Favorites


I've heard and read some great accounting jokes throughout the years. I never really feel like I fit the stereotypes, but who knows! Some of these definitely ring true for me and give me a good and needed chuckle from time to time. I hope that you will enjoy them as well.





What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't? Depreciation.

What's the definition of an accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.

What's the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him.

What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer? The accountant knows he is boring.

Why did the accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for three hours? Because on the box it said Concentrate.

What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet? Lost.

When do accountants laugh out loud? When somebody asks for a raise.

Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays? They can wear casual clothes to work.

How does an accountant make a bold fashion statement? He wears his grey suit instead of the blue.

And my husband's personal favorite accounting joke is.....

If an accountant's wife can't get to sleep, what does she say? "Tell me about work today, dear."




My accountant told me that the only reason why my business is looking up is that it's flat on it's back.

A fool and his money are soon audited.

A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."

An accountant is talking to the young child of one of his friends and says, "Do you know what I do?' "Daddy says you're a CPA." "That's right. Did he tell you what CPA stands for?" "Well, he says you're a Complete Pain in the Arse."


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The Jokes Submitted by Other Visitors

Click below to see contributions from other visitors to this page...

Resume Bloopers  starstarstarstarstar
Here are some resume bloopers taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine:

1. I demand a salary commiserate with ...

Professional Descriptions  starstar
What does your profession say about you?

1. MARKETING - You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college,...

Frauditor  Not rated yet
These groups of accountants were embezzling funds from their company and cooking the books. So this new Financial Controller comes and started to suspect ...

Tom  Not rated yet
Did you know that accountants invented copper wire?

Two of them were fighting over a penny.

Accountants and Light Bulbs  Not rated yet
Q: How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb?

A: How much money do you have?

Accountants vs Vampires  Not rated yet
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a vampire?

A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Accountants Deep Down  Not rated yet
Q: Why are they putting the accountants at the bottom of the ocean?

A: They found out that deep down they're really not so bad.

IRS Audit Red Flag  Not rated yet
"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your ...

Kiss My ...  Not rated yet
What does an accountant tell his co-worker when he askes for a raise?

Kiss my @$$


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