Accounting Jokes

Favorite Bookkeeping Funnies

This is the accounting jokes page, full of my favorite bookkeeping funnies. I've heard and read some great accounting jokes throughout the years. I never really feel like I fit the stereotypes, but who knows! Some of these definitely ring true for me and give me a good and needed chuckle from time to time.

Accounting Jokes

 I hope that you will enjoy these accounting funnies and bookkeeping jokes as well. Sometimes we just need a little laughter to relieve the stress and brighten our day!

There is also a form at the bottom of the page where you can submit your own bookkeeping and accounting jokes for the rest of us to enjoy. Your contributions are appreciated.

Accounting Jokes - Q & A

Accountant Jokes

What's the definition of an accountant?

Someone who solves a problem you didn't know you had in a way you don't understand.

What do accountants suffer from that ordinary people don't?


What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do?

Go into town and gang-audit someone.

What's the definition of a good tax accountant?

Someone who has a loophole named after him.

What's the difference between an accountant and a lawyer?

The accountant knows he is boring.

Why did the blonde accountant stare at his glass of orange juice for three hours?

Because on the box it said Concentrate.

What do you call an accountant without a spreadsheet?


When do accountants laugh out loud?

When somebody asks for a raise.

Why do accountants get excited on Saturdays?

They can wear casual clothes to work.

How does an accountant make a bold fashion statement?

He wears his grey suit instead of the blue.

If an accountant's husband can't get to sleep, what does he say?

Tell me about work today, dear. (My personal favorite!)

Bookkeeping Funnies

Accounting Jokes3

My accountant told me that the only reason why my business is looking up is that it's flat on it's back.

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"I'm David and I'm a bean-counter." -...
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A fool and his money are soon audited.

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"Rumor has it, Minton, that you're af...
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A businessman tells his friend that his company is looking for a new accountant. His friend asks, "Didn't your company hire a new accountant a few weeks ago?" The businessman replies, "That's the accountant we're looking for."

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"I may be too proud to beg, but I'm n...
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An accountant is talking to the young child of one of his friends and says, "Do you know what I do?' "Daddy says you're a CPA." "That's right. Did he tell you what CPA stands for?" "Well, he says you're a Complete Pain in the Arse."

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"Nancy is your type. Goo...
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Accounting Jokes Bean Counter

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The Jokes Submitted by Other Visitors

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Resume Bloopers 
Here are some resume bloopers taken from real resumes and cover letters and were printed in Fortune Magazine: 1. I demand a salary commiserate with …

Professional Descriptions 
What does your profession say about you? 1. MARKETING - You are ambitious yet stupid. You chose a marketing degree to avoid having to study in college, …

These groups of accountants were embezzling funds from their company and cooking the books. So this new Financial Controller comes and started to suspect …

Duncan Meredith (not titled, I'm afraid*) Not rated yet
*that's an English joke - but not my actual joke, which is: "Why did the auditor cross the road? Cos he did it last year..." (& just in case...there …

Politicians Not rated yet
While walking down the street one day a U.S. senator is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance. …

What do you call 12 accountants skydiving? Not rated yet
What do you call 12 accountants skydiving ?? SKEET!

What do you call 12 accountants? Not rated yet
What do you call 12 accountants at the bottom of the ocean ? A GOOD START !

Socialising Not rated yet
What do you call an accountant talking to someone? Popular

How Can You Tell An Extroverted Accountant? Not rated yet
When talking with you he looks at YOUR shoes instead of his shoes!

The Secret Not rated yet
I worked for an accountant for some time when I noticed that sometimes when he was working on a spreadsheet he would sigh deeply, then open his top drawer …

Tom Not rated yet
Did you know that accountants invented copper wire? Two of them were fighting over a penny.

Accountants and Light Bulbs Not rated yet
Q: How many accountants does it take to change a light bulb? A: How much money do you have?

Accountants vs Vampires Not rated yet
Q: What's the difference between an accountant and a vampire? A: A vampire only sucks blood at night.

Accountants Deep Down Not rated yet
Q: Why are they putting the accountants at the bottom of the ocean? A: They found out that deep down they're really not so bad.

IRS Audit Red Flag Not rated yet
"Worried about an IRS audit? Avoid what's called a red flag. That's something the IRS always looks for. For example, say you have some money left in your …

Kiss My ... Not rated yet
What does an accountant tell his co-worker when he askes for a raise? Kiss my @$$

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